OK, so what happens now?

Now comes the reeeaaallly reeeaaallly long editing process and part of that means that I actually have to let people read it. Without the response of others I have no idea what works and what doesn't. So, like any sensible writer I didn't just send my 'baby' out to the wolves just to watch it get ripped apart, I've started with the best of critics. The ones who have your heart in mind when they're reading. My friends and family.

Within this bunch are varying degrees of critique and bias; I'm aware that some might read it and instantly love it because I wrote it, some might not be able to be completely honest, and some might be scared of upsetting me. However, I do feel that I have a good selection of people who support me and want me too succeed enough that they really would be honest. I'm not saying that bias won't be there (I'd be stupid to set myself up with readers who wouldn't ease me into the feedback process gently), but for the first set of beta readers, I want their words to come from a kind place, even if the critique is negative.

There are some people who have been reading it step by step as I have written it. One friend (you know who you are) is probably the only reason I continued to write past the first chapter. Every week she'd read a new chapter whilst we worked at the library (Sorry to my supervisor, only after we'd done all of our work... I promise) and she convinced me that not only was the idea good, but that I could write.

Other friends have been reading it chunk by chunk to get a little bit more continuity.

Then Mum, Dad and my boyfriend, get to read it all at once, as though it were a real book.... exciting right? But in all cases they're only just seeing the finished vision (I say vision because it's certainly not the finished product).

Bring on the first round of beta readers;

• Dad – Now Dad is super supportive, but over the years I have come to know when his feedback isn't going to be good, it always starts with 'Hmm i's interesting'. As soon as I hear those words I get the irrational crazy only a daughter can have towards her Father. Also over four years of academic writing I have trained Dad to be my grammar blood-hound because, to be brutally honest, I suck at grammar and syntax (I didn't even know what syntax was until my third year of uni).
• Mum – Mum I love you and I'm hoping you agree with everything I say below. Again, super supportive like Dad, but without the discipline needed to read something if it doesn't grab her from the get go. This is also a great thing because if it does grab her I'll know I've done a good job.
• Holly – A friend who also writes and has been very supportive of this whole process. We're brutally honest with each other and we'll say instantly when we think something doesn't work. We won't dress it up as something it's not, if it stinks, it stinks.
• Naomi – Probably the most gentle of my first round of beta readers, but even so after reading the first chapters amongst the praise, she didn't tip toe around what she didn't like.
• Ed – Last but not least, my boyfriend. He is incredibly honest with me. He once said 'Real writers would sit down every day and write something because it's their job, that's what you should do' and I really took it to heart. That advice helped me to finish the first draft.

So now it's just a case of waiting for their responses. It sounds like the easiest part right? WRONG. It's so nerve racking. Definitely one of the more terrifying things I have done.

I'll keep you posted.